Taichous Sleepover
by MufflestheMighty
Summary: Byakuya and Zaraki come for a sleepover party. Lot's of fun, snacks, breaking things, pillow fights, destruction, toilet humor etc.


**Zaraki's pet**

Ichigo was lying in bed and just about falling asleep when he heard the front door blow off its hinges. Leaping out of bed and leaping down the stairs, he tripped on the third one and proceeded to tumble the rest of his way down.

A disheveled Ichigo arrived at the front door only to find it non-existent. In it's place there stood a person who could have taken the door's place and done a better job at that. Zaraki Kenpachi grinned down at him

"IICHEEEGO!!!" Kenpachi had to drag out the word due to the fact that he had to grin manically as he talked.

"Kenpachi!!!" Ichigo was too angry to be afraid.

"I told you that was a bit too drastic" A condescending voice floated past the bulk of Zaraki and the 6th squad Taichou stepped out from behind his fellow captain.

"meh! No big deal" Zaraki shrugged and stomped into the house, byakuya tiptoed in behind him.

"you-he-how-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???" Ichigo managed to hold his bottom jaw up long enough to ask.

"Soul society sent us" Zaraki helped himself from a cookie tin he had found in Ichigo's kitchen cupboard.

"We are to hold our position here and await further orders, and we obviously need a place to stay." Byakuya explained coldly

"I'm terribly sorry, but you can't stay here" Ichigo tried to remain civil and polite

"Do not think to try and stop us, boy" Byakuya answered with customary warmth and humility.

"Yea, for once the pretty boy is talking sense." Zaraki grinned, ignoring the vicious glare that Byakuya threw at him.

"absolutely not" began Ichigo, but before he could finish, Zaraki bounced past him, fled up the stairs and smashed through ichigo's bedroom door, there was a splintering sound from above as Zaraki jumped on the bed and promptly broke it.

Byakuya shunpo'd upstairs and Ichigo arrived soon after to find the bathroom door locked

"what are you doing in there" Ichigo asked and immediately wished he hadn't as the reply came

"I'm sorry, it's rather urgent" Byakuya's usually aloof tone was tainted with embarrassment.

"uhm..ahem…okay." Ichigo retreated, not wanting to know any more about Kuchiki Taichou's toilet routine.

Zaraki was lying comfortably on the remains of Ichigo's bed, clutching Kon absentmindedly to his chest. Ichigo sighed and laid down a mattress for himself, he went to get a pillow and returned to find Byakuya on his makeshift bed. Ichigo was reduced to sleeping on the sofa, and to make matters worse, he couldn't sleep.

Instead, he filled a bowl with chips, peanuts and chocolate and turned on the television. He was just getting into the horror film when he noticed a figure silhouetted on the stairs

"What…is this?" byakuya was there

Ichigo groaned, couldn't he get a moment's peace?

"It's called midnight feast, want some?" Ichigo offered the bowl of delicious goodies to Byakuya, who sniffed them suspiciously before taking a piece of chocolate and licking it.

"My god, where are your manners" Ichigo remarked. He soon decided that this comment should not have been addressed at byakuya when Zaraki came hurtling down the stairs, breaking the railing, grabbed most of the snacks with both hands, breaking the bowl, and then cramming some into his mouth, while scattering the rest across the faces of the other two and the living room floor.

"That's it! Tomorrow, both of you are off," Ichigo said fiercely, he caught sight of Zaraki smashing the TV with his zanpakutou and decided the sooner the better.

"In fact, you are both out NOW!" stunned silence met the remark.

"Very well, c'mon Kenpachi" Byakuya's voice could have beaten Hitsugaya's bankai.

"Yea, boy can't handle the pressure" Kenpachi grinned

They walked to the front door, the non-existent one, that is and Ichigo graciously let them out.

The moment they left, Ichigo called Urahara-san on his mobile.

"hey, Urahara, I kicked two captains outta my house and feel kinda bad, can you let them stay with you?" Ichigo asked

"sure, captains are always welcome to my humble shop" Urahara answered in a sing-song voice.

"Thanks" Ichigo hung up and flung himself onto his bed, the one that was lying in bits on the floor, that is. He hit the desk instead, tried to stop himself falling and pulled the tablecloth along with everything else on his desk onto himself.

"Where the hell do we go now??" Zaraki was grumbling as he and Byakuya walked along the deserted street.

"Oh? What could two captains such as yourselves be going alone on such a dark night?" the voice was mocking and Byakuya immediately felt like he wanted to slice it's owner up.

Urahara stepped out of the shadows, tilting his hat forward in what he thought was a charming manner.

"Eh? Who are you?" Zaraki grunted.

"an acquaintance of your friend Kurosaki Ichigo, he requested that you spend the night with me seeing as his place is not fit to accommodate such fine gentlemen as yourselves." Urahara grinned

byakuya gave a big yawn. "I am rather tired, lead us to your quarters, we will spend the night there."

"That's just what I said…" grumbled Urahara

Very soon Byakuya and Zaraki were tucked in, cozy as two hamsters in a den.

"Goodnight, fellas" Urahara said as he left

"goodnight, Urahara-san," the two captains chorused before falling onto their mattresses, they were asleep before they even hit their cushions.

"My, my, what sleepy little taichous we have here" urahara switched off the light and yawned. "come to think of it, I'm pretty tired as well." He came to what he thought was his bed and tried to fall onto it.

Tessai-san awoke to the horrible sound of Urahara-san crashing down the 532 steps leading down into the training grounds under the shop.

Ichigo crawled back into bed and yawned so much his jaw dislocated. Very soon he fell asleep, snoring slightly.

Everyone slept, Byakuya and Zaraki curled up together and sucked their thumbs, Ichigo snored lightly, clutching Kon, Urahara drooled, his face pressed against the bottom step. A tinkling soundtrack of "Hush little Baby" crept across the city and all was at peace again.


End file.
